The Great Bandaid

Recently, I feel as if God asked me to take a step away from social media.

It took a special kind of day to realize that I needed the break, the day where I felt broken to the core, a sloppy mess of not wanting to be alone, yet not wanting to be with a group of people. It was the sort of day where I needed somebody. But it was a holiday, and people were busy. Maybe you’ve had a day like that, too.

That’s okay–it’s no fault of anyone’s.

God designed us to be relational beings. If you look at Genesis, God even said it is not good for man to be alone. That wasn’t just romantically, but also in a platonic manner. Yes, that’s right: we need friends.

But there are pieces of us that friends aren’t meant to fulfill.

That day, I realized I had been trying to fill pieces of myself with those relationships. High quality friendships, yes, but they weren’t intended to “fix” me. And while that was never my intention, it’s exactly what I was doing.

Unfortunately, I was also using social media that way. I’m a very open person on social media. While I don’t feel like I over share, necessarily, I think I could share less. And maybe I should. I found myself checking my social media often that weekend, seeing if my post got more likes or more comments. It was so unlike me that I couldn’t help but notice.

I was broken. And I didn’t realize that I was trying to fix the cracks in my foundation with a cocktail of friendships and social media. It was a dangerous mix. If I didn’t feel appreciated, it affected me to my core. Maybe you’ve felt that way, too.

So I took a break, and now I’m sharing about it.

Social media isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s a great way to connect, and to stay in contact with people. It’s also a great platform to share big news and events: I’m not saying that it’s bad, or that you shouldn’t use it. Just simply that I needed to step away to take some time to heal.

Sometimes, when we hurt, it’s easier to do something to distract us than to address our feelings. Some people do it with food, some go to the gym, some cry. We all cope in our own ways. I discovered I was doing so with social media. Some things from the past were starting to come up again. They were the kinds of things that you think you’ve dealt with, until they come knocking on your door again and you realize you and God have some more work to do. But instead of letting God in to work in my heart, I was putting a bandaid on the heartache. And no wonder I wasn’t feeling fulfilled in relationships. Those people weren’t even intended to fix me in that way!

So I encourage you to investigate. Take inventory. Examine your friendships, and honestly assess your emotions. Are you putting on a bandaid, are you coping, or are you letting God in on a bigger hurt? Romans 12:2 tells us not to conform to the patterns of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. The world runs from hurt. Christians should run to God when hurt.

The Bible is full of things about our identity. Dive in to who God says you are. Ask the Holy Spirit to be your comforter as you deal with the heartaches.

John 14:26-27. Draw upon the God of peace in this season. It doesn’t last forever.